I have not memorized the books of the bible
and I have never performed a miracle
and I could not spell Monongahela
without looking it up in a book
and I DON’T EVEN KNOW
should be the title of the book
that I am thinking of writing about myself.
I am thinking of writing a book about myself.
I just want to be clear here.
the state of the union
The president came on the radio and told us
that life was, at times, a very difficult and painful event
that will basically always end in death. The president said, however,
that we are all winners if we try hard enough
and it is difficult, he knows!, to choose kindness, but who says
that kindness is not, in this day and age, a radical act? Life
said the president Is a form of revolt if you do it right
and that was the end of the president’s announcement. After that
everyone got health insurance and after that
everyone died, because woe is me, as casually as possible.
act nice and gentle
I am not a fancy man it is true but that does not mean
that I do not own a suit or understand how to open doors
or prevent ladies from stepping in puddles. The best way
to prevent ladies from stepping in puddles is to drown the puddle
and bury it in a shallow grave over by the orphanage. The best way
to cheer up an orphan is to take the orphan out for a cheeseburger
and point out that there is no such thing as “parents.”
Often after improving the lives of ladies and orphans
I like to go out into the woods and take out my wallet
and see if I can make rent this month and it is indeed the best of games!
I would like to take the time here to remind you
that I have got a tenderness in me that cannot be contained
and also there is not a moment that goes by wherein I do not imagine
that you are right here, nestling against my neck,
and the sun is setting and the trees are swaying in a comfortable breeze
and we can have a good time, we could get margaritas,
we could have a mutual suicide pact that involved massive explosions
and guns mounted on the ceiling that fire when we sigh,
severing cords tied to bowling balls that will crush our heads
and yes I have been feeling sorry for myself
and when you get off work tonight
I would like you to sit here with me, on the couch,
while the freeway tells us a real good joke
and we all laugh together like the good old days,
because darlin I am nothing if not a living reminder of the good old days
which we have drowned and buried
out by the orphanage, where hope lives in secret,
burrowing itself inside you so deep that you almost forget it is there.
are you kidding me
Today my resume feels alive with purpose.
What does that mean exactly? I couldn’t say. If I were to think about it
my head would explode, and then you would have to deal with that.
It’s just something I’ve come to believe,
like how some days the sun rises in the east and on others
we continue our never-ending plea for some great event
which we will recognize as occurring once the strings kick in
and the narrator warmly and wisely intones
It was then that they fully understood their purpose in life,
retired to the country, and lived happily ever after
but friends, until then, let’s burn everything to ground
and keep it that way
until all that we can see is dead and gone
and we are finally alone with our feelings
which we are absolutely terrified of.
Sasha Fletcher is the author of it is going to be a good year (Big Lucks Books, 2015), several chapbooks of poetry, and an out of print novella.