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FAWN PARKER

 

APPLICATION

 

I'm not an aggressive person but
I've thought about neglecting small things.
My friend the other day about dog parks said
“What’s not to love”
I'm serious, but also I can ignore it if I try hard enough.
I hate myself and here I am on stage for you,
I'm the ugliest person in the world
let me take off my clothes so you can see.
What if my sister dies. They say people like her have
a 100% chance of dying via acts of extreme violence.
Like fruit flies, I think those statistics are the same
but I was just trying to see if you would feel bad enough
for me to stay the night afterwards.
I feel like I’m being a bummer.
I feel like a low income neighbourhood.
I feel like a bad person.
I feel like a dumb idiot.
I feel like a trapped cat.
You people and your public affairs
You people and your Bad Blood feat. Kendrick Lamar
I can see you over there across the room
slow dancing to my loud apathy
This is a fun game, right?
Do you want to play again
Even though you always lose
I don't want to be brash but here's the thing
You've been naughty and you know how I feel
about neglecting things
Does avoidance do it for you,
are we still playing that sexy game?
I always wanted to break multiple hearts at once
and still be admired. I was only trying to
pinpoint my good side.
I always wanted to be a mall rat.
Why are we always fighting
Why do you hate me just because I hate you
My intention is always to come out on top
Why would I spare your feelings when they're
my only obstacle.
This is so good, are you having fun?
Can't we just do me and go to sleep?
I wish I was a mall rat.
I wish I was so fat there was no hope.
I wish parents saw my tattoos and said
Now there's a young lady who's going somewhere!
I hate your fucking allergies
how are we supposed to play out my fantasies
if you're gonna be all red like that.
My god what if my sister dies and she's not
there to see me shine.
It's more of a lifestyle, than a destination,
the mall.
I could crush you if I wanted to,
not physically but so what.
Come over later.
If I really wanted it
I would know where to get help,
I've even had it before.
Every day is Halloween at the mall!
Every party is a Halloween party!
Until they close the costume store for three seasons
God Jesus what aren't you allergic to?
I really thought hard about this outfit,
I fell down the stairs yesterday
Can you afford me now that my
rich dad has set the bar for you?
You won't be sorry
that you came over here
I promise you'll love it,
it's all gonna feel really good.
Let's just do me and go to sleep.

 

 

A SHALLOW DISH OF WATER SOMEWHERE UNREACHABLE AND YOU

I have been an Insatiable Birdie!
Rotating 360° I have been
burned before. Ha
ha but just my
baby
selfish
baby hands
stretching my mouth
like a
trip like a trench
like a vast
vast something
for you to
              inside
but there’s no hole in the surface
between where you’re pouring and
where
my mouth
is. 

 

 

 

"ACTIVELY" "PURSUING"

Gmail freezes every time I try to
delete a draft to my boss saying
Cool let’s fuck.

I should be at work but I’m
listening to your college
rock band on cassette.

Who cares
because you don’t even
hashtag know me.

I just want a birthday
card but you keep
giving me $$$ 

 




 

Fawn Parker is a writer living in Montreal. Her work has been published in Joyland, The Quietus, and Cosmonauts Avenue. She is the editorial assistant at The Puritan. Her collection Looking Good and Having a Good Time was released by Metatron Press in 2015.